Couples on the Brink

written by Erick Lownsberry MSG, USA (Ret), LPC/A

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Couples on the Brink

Marriage is a union of two people that establishes rights and obligations within their relationship.
The COVID-19 pandemic has forced many couples together at home more than they may have
been for a long time and they’re discovering it’s time to stop ignoring the alarm bells that have
been ringing for months – maybe even years. Couples have had more intense togetherness and
many are facing things in their marriages that make them unhappy. It’s time to stop ignoring
these problems and face them.

Action Plan

Do you want to make your marriage stronger? Then prepare for action. Stop moping around.
Stop being a victim. Being a victim and trying to guilt your partner likely will only lead to
feelings of resentment in your partner. Taking action means that you make a plan for yourself so
that you can do something different or better. Together with your partner, clarify what changes
you would like to see in the relationship. List, gently, all the complaints, criticisms, and
disagreements you can think of (e.g. communication, feelings of being taken for granted, lack of
intimacy, etc.). Set aside your sensitivities and make sure you ask your partner to clarify
anything you have done in the past or are currently doing that has hurt them. Apologize for it,
then, figure out what you can do differently to prevent any repeats in the future.
Unplug from your electronics. Too often couples are plugged in and remain disconnected from
their partner/family.
Communicate with your partner the way you want to be communicated with. Acknowledge your
partner and treat them as an equal in the relationship. Address your marital issues. Don’t play the
blame game. And, this is a big one: learn to say “I’m sorry”. Doing these things will help your
relationship stand the test of time and increase your satisfaction within it.